It has been a long while since I've posted here. There was a time when it seemed like there lived little to speak off in my daily habit but that isn't the case anymore. Laze perhaps. A lack of initiative even.
That said, perhaps it is time I returned and what better way then to aim for downright depressing. I share with the blogosphere my smorgasbord of ailments:
1. Burn skin, burn!
Skin ailments are often underplayed in the field of laymen and their awe of medical misfortune. But that really shouldn't be the case. They are both ungainly and uncomfortable.
I wasn't a day over eight when I was introduced to the lesser known ill-effects of air-conditioning*. The dryness of skin caused by A/Cs, I have come to understand, can worsen to a skin inflammation called "atopic dermatitis".
Rajesh Khanna in Anand, one of my all-time favourite cinema melodramas, makes clear his appreciation for scientific sounding ailments. I agree. There lay a subdued pride in between pangs of pain.
2. Stop. Oh wait, you can't move.
Twelfth grade in an Indian school and its unmistakable angst often boils down to a series of examinations that make you wish you had zits instead. (I would never mean to undermine the pain that zits cause adolescent readers but really, I know I won this one.)
For me though, it boiled down to a life-changing episode of ayurvedic E.R**.
My first altercation with what came to be known as "cervical spondylosis", was in April 06. Snap! And I think I lost a sense of feeling below my neck. Perhaps it was because of the insane fucking pain in my neck but I could be wrong. Oh and all I was doing at the time was eating a bowl of Chocos and watching some Speed Racer.
The next time this brilliant shot of painful life ran through my back, it got me down and out. I felt like Quasimodo for a few days but the embarrasment was the last thing on my mind.
What ensued, was a forced treatment in an Ayurvedic clinic under the able guidance of an unforgettable Dr. Alladi. Don't get me wrong. He probably knew what he was doing. But it is hard to tell when hot oil burns your back. Oh, did I mention I was held down on a plastic stool in a dungeon and beaten up with dal***.
3. Bringing up the tail...
Like the average unfit kid of this world, I had a series of sicknesses - some feigned, some real. I had a bad bout of bronchitis once when I was in the 11th grade. It made me lose all my fat. So, not such a bad thing. Most of that is a haze, because I slept through it courtesy some bad ass medication.
I don't like diarrhoea. I don't like water in Bangalore. Do the math.
*I believe in eczema. Not global warming. This one's for you Mr. Crichton.
**Another Crichton reference. More on that later.
***Maybe I'm being dramatic. The stool may not have been plastic.
